Hi everyone if you have the time please read, the rest of the photos are at the bottom of this description in more detail.
I am hoping to raise enough to get rid of this, the top photo is my breast with the red bit covering my nipple. I have tried Microneedling, creams, serums, exercise, eating well and it just don’t cut it and laser is not affordable. I am in my late 20s and have been stuck with this body for 12 years. I am 5ft 3 with a small frame and a very healthy 8 stone weight with a BMI of 20 but the skin don’t show that. I have no confidence at all, I am very shy and this is always consuming my day to day life as I look like I am 90. I have to be careful what I wear and always am in fear that when I am outside of clothes lifting up and exposing it. I feel like I am being punished for having a child who I love and don’t regret.
I gained a little weight from pregnancy, since then I have lost 2 stone which has enhanced these issues. The skin itches a lot especially the stretch marks, my belly button can get infected too sometimes as it closes up too much in a permanent position. The doctors don’t help with it for relieving issues and I have tried many creams etc. I suffer with extreme long term depression, paranoia, HSP, body dysmorphia and anxiety. I have had this for 12 years, I cant seem to except it and with all the issues it causes, one being recent mild chest pain from thinking about it which is sometimes set off by accidentally seeing my skin when I am getting changed etc. I struggle to leave the house most of the time and dread going out which has been made easier with it being winter at the moment. The skin on my chest/ size of them that hasn’t shrunk down gets in the way making it uncomfortable to sleep most mornings, it takes me a few hours at worst to sleep some days as I cant get comfortable.
The other day this month (early November) I was debating looking deeper into ending my life as I feel life has just been one big misery in one way or another with mental health caused by my body mainly. I am on the strongest dose of anti depressants but it still don’t stop me from feeling suicidal. I have suffered with long term depression, anxiety and paranoia since I was 13. I have attempted before to take my life but have sometimes backed out that and it hasn’t always worked. I have sought various forms of counselling which haven’t helped.
This consumes a lot of my time and when I am not thinking about it or trying to except it like a adult as such, there is always something that reminds me of how disgusting I am with constant itchy and saggy skin that gets in the way practically and or at the same time seeing women in swim suits and crop tops, seeing people outside, certain pieces of clothing I see when looking online and taking a bath or shower. No where now since the pandemic will except me for a loan and I am struggling to save up despite trying as life does throw curve balls about sometimes not helping.
My whole life has been 24 7 poor mental health with anxiety, depression and paranoia starting from Secondary at 13 years old school where I had a infection on my face which led to a scar. Through the whole of secondary school I would cover my face up with my hair, it was either that or get bullied more than I already was. I was happy to return home each day just to relieve the throbbing eye pain from restricting my sight all day. Now as a adult I suffer a few times a week with bad eye pain from restricting my sight as a teenager which I have glasses for which don’t always help. I was able to fade that scar at 17 then I fell pregnant and at 17 was left with itchy ugly skin like this.
Can everyone who reads this please share. 🙂 I hope you can all understand. x